Friday, April 30, 2010

Happy People

Here is a thought. We all know that person who is constantly happy and bubbly no matter what is going on. I think most of us wonder if that person is genuinely a happy person or a really good actor. So that is my thought; is true happiness real or faked.

I am a pessimist. I do not believe that bubbly person is that truly happy. Bad things happen to everyone and sometimes life is just plain unfair. I do not see how that person can constantly portray happiness when they have no real reason to be that happy.

Now some people are just lucky or work really hard to have a great life but the real bubbly people are average like most of us. So are they faking being happy and secretly cry every Thursday night or go home and finally let their depression out? Who knows for sure. Most of you will take things at face value but I am an analyzer. I cannot take things at face value. I have to analyze it to death. I am the one who sits there and wonders "oh my God, is this person so bubbly all the time". I personally cannot stand the overly bubbly person. I use the word bubbly to describe those few who act so happy it's almost sickening.

The bubbly ones are not for me. I prefer to be around those who actually show other emotions. Who react when there should be a reaction. Who get pissed off when they should be pissed. The bubbly ones remind me of a fake barbie doll. Most of us do not like the barbie dolls just as most of us cannot stand the too happy, bubbly person.

Maybe they are that truly happy. Maybe they can see the world and life in a way we cannot. I also ask the question of whether you can be just a happy person, born and bred that way or if you have to work at being happy. I would have to work at being happy. Don't get me wrong, I am not all pessimism and do have bouts of happiness. I am just happy at the appropriate times.

Maybe though I am the problem. Maybe I do not realize my own happiness and take it for granted. Or maybe I am doomed to being an unhappy person. I guess that is a character flaw I will have to work on. But if I ever become the "bubbly" person, just smack me on the back of the head.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Lots of News

Well I haven't been keeping up with my blog. A lot has happened since my last post. I did get in to college and am now starting my second week. I also made Associate Editor for the website I was interning for, I have had a lot of good luck over the past few weeks.

I am so happy to be in school and getting a degree that I really want. With a Bachelor's in English it will look better for a freelance job and I can get a job reviewing books for a publishing company which is also a goal for me. I have a lot of hard work ahead of me but I know in the end it will all pay off.

I think I have found my purpose and I am thinking of redoing my blog. As to what, I am not yet sure but it somehow doesn't seem an appropriate title anymore. I've been thinking about '365 Days of Thought' but I have such a hard time coming up with topics that I think I would struggle coming up with a new thought everyday. Whatever I change it to, I want it to be something I have to write in at least every other day. I really want to start getting better at posting to the blog. I'll have to do some thinking and figure stuff out. Who knows what I'll come up with.

Until next time.....

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Good News

Well I still haven't heard yet if I'll be able to start college 4/19 yet but I did get good news yesterday.

The website I was interning for (as a writer) just asked me to be an Associate Editor. They were so pleased with my work and ideas for the site, that after only six weeks that decided to keep on. The budget doesn't allow for much so what they are doing is linking my Google Adsense account to theirs. I hope readers click away on those ads so I can get some pay.

It took so much anxiety and relief off of me. I was really struggling to come up with article ideas for this audience that I was no longer enjoying writing. Now I can write when I choose and improve the site to get more members and feedback.

I am so excited. I still am having some anxiety over knowing whether or not I'll be able to start school on the 19th or if I'll have to wait until next semester. I wish they would just tell me so that my anxiety goes away. Fingers crossed for starting the 19th.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Soon to be College Student Again

Well, I have good news. I got my college debt paid off from a previous attempt at attending college. Now they actually have a new degree program that I really want to get. Because I paid them off they will finance me until my student loan is out of default in August or September.

I will be getting my Bachelor's in English with a focus on writing. I can't wait to take some literature courses as well for my electives.

It looks like I'll be starting school April 19th. I'll have alot on my plate because I won't be done with my internship yet so I will have to do both at the same time. My internship requires 10 hours a week and my schooling is probably about the same if not more. It's an online school, University of Phoenix. They are a really good school but require alot from the student. Not a bad thing I guess but sometimes overwhelming. There is alot of reading material and homework involved but it will be nice since this time I have a laptop so I'm not stuck to one spot all the time.

I'm so excited to start! I truly believe that I have finally found what I want to do with my life. If you haven't already heard, I'd like to be a writer, professionaly that is. I would love to see my work in print.

I have given myself a goal of getting an article published in a real, glossy magazine in 6 months. Maybe a year at the latest. My biggest problem that I experience with writing articles is coming up with great topics. I struggle so much with this, which is why I'm stressed over my internship. Luckily, I just wrote down a bunch of article ideas for my internship so I can start writing them tomorrow.

I always wanted to write a book but I don't think I have the patience for such a long endeavor. I've tried before but didn't get past the first few pages of the book. I'm not a fiction writer and I would start to think that no one would care about what I think so why bother. I'm not into how-to or self-help so I guess I'd better stick with articles.

Although, someone did mention to me that maybe I should write a children's book and have my own kids do the illustrations. I thought it wasn't a bad idea and I've had an idea for a book rolling around in my head ever since.

Anyway, that's all for now. You've probably gotten bored already reading this long post. I'll try to make it shorter next time :-)